Tenth City Council Impeachment Address

Tholos of Athena — TENTH ADDRESS TO CITY COUNCIL (Re: A Resolution To Impeach)
April 1, 2008

Mayor, Council members, I appear for the tenth time asking you to pass a simple resolution calling for the impeachment of the President and Vice President of the United States.

In my remarks awhile back, I raised the question of whether you take seriously your oath to defend the Constitution. At which you seemed to take offence. The Mayor spoke for you, so I assume you were all equally offended.

We’re all familiar with the husband who loudly protests his allegiance to his wife and children, but then fails to show up when those who depend on him need him most.

And it seems to me that now is one of those times in the life of our Constitution. . . when those who have sworn to defend her can show how seriously they take that oath. Or not.

I think it’s safe to say that we are in the midst of a Constitutional crisis. That’s how the Watergate era is typically described, and there is no question that the abuses of power of the current regime far surpass those for which Nixon was impeached.

There’s a new film now called Taxi To The Dark Side, about an Afghan taxi driver tortured to death by our military. The film has won numerous awards, including an Oscar for best documentary film. This man, this taxi driver, it turns out, was probably innocent of any crime.

The film also shows that this was no isolated incident. Over one hundred prisoners have died in suspicious circumstances while in U.S. custody during the war on terror. We know people have been tortured at Abu Ghraib, Guantanamo, and other places around the world.

Meanwhile, on March 8, George W. Bush became the first American President to use the veto power to preserve the right to torture. And that is just one item on a list that includes warrantless wiretapping of citizens, lying to Congress and the American people, invading a sovereign country for no apparent reason.

You say you take seriously your oath to protect the Constitution, and, again, all I can say is I can’t imagine a better opportunity to demonstrate the truth of that statement.

It’s easy to get mad at me. The question is why you should find it so difficult to be outraged at those in high places who threaten our Constitution and subvert the rule of law.

Having said that, I wish to add that I have only the utmost respect for all of you and the work that you perform here. It’s only because I happen to hold in such high regard your sense of morality and integrity that I bother to come down here at all, and why, even now, I find it so difficult to accept that this cause is hopeless.

Thank you.

7 Comments

  1. HAHAHA!! I will get you all, my pretties! and your little dog, too!!
    BUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  2. Dear BUSH NEEDS TO GO PRONTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I know what you mean! My problem is all these damn black helicopters I see everywhere.
    That and the sound of jackboots and people in brownshirts knocking on my door in the middle of the night.
    I’m afraid to answer the door except for the pizza delivery man!

  3. Isn’t it a little late to be calling for impeachment? Come on, he’s only got a couple months left, he’ll be out of office by the time the impeachment processes even half over! This seems like a really desperate attempt at trying to revive an old [bowel] movement.

  4. I understand what its like for people to not believe you when you tell them Bush needs to go. I had a similar problem once……………..

    It all started one night when I was talking to my friend on the phone. We were discussing the best way to impeach Bush when suddenly we heard a strange clicking noise. It was like someone had picked up the receiver on another line, but different, and more sinister. We paused for a moment then continued. I went first,

    “I think the FBI is listening to us. Switch to the code words.”

    “Why would they listen to us?” my friend asked.

    “Code words!” I reminded him.

    “Oh, um, spoon rocket splindledum Bush……how do I say impeach again?”

    “Brad Pitt!”

    The clicking sound had turned into static and then a man’s voice limped in,

    “……..and I’d like three bean burritos with a grande nacho supreme and…….”

    Just as quick as he faded in, he faded out. Clearly Karl Rove was trying to make us THINK they weren’t listening to our conversation. I knew what this meant. It meant he knew they knew that we knew that they knew. The static itself cleared with silence taking its place.

    “Phew! Our phoneline just got mixed up with Taco Bell again.” my friend naively proclaimed.

    “Fool, that’s what they want us to think. Look, nevermind I’ll talk to you in person.” I scowled at my friend’s incompetence.

    The CIA was surely onto us now. I biked over to his mom’s house and we went down to the basement, where we always go to hide from Bush, when all of a sudden……….

    The most wicked bloodcurdling cowboy laugh rang out in the darkness and two red burning eyes crept in from the darkness. They were the color of HATE, no, the color of Bush. As he crept closer, I suddenly realized how tall he looked, then I noticed part of it came from his giant hat. As he crept closer still to my friend’s night light, I saw him a bit better than I could on TV or in my nightmares, and he was much scary than I had previously imagined.

    I was petrified. He lunged out at me. Something in me made me move. I kept a locket around my neck with a bit of oil in it just in case. I broke it on the ground then ran away, only to see bush stoop to the ground like a ravenous beast and slurp it up. I tried to run away. Then Karl Rove stumbled out of the broom closet and smacked me with a diseased mop. Cheney came down the stairs with a shotgun and spoke the most terrifying sentence I’ve ever heard,

    “I seeeeeee you.”

    “No Cheney, aim to the left of him, that way you’ll hit him.” Karl sneered.

    Then, for the first time in my life, I decided I wasn’t going to run anymore. I was going to stand up to Bush for breaking my arm last summer, stealing my homework so it would look like I lost it, for leaving the toilet seat up, and for tapping all my phone calls.

    “Leave me alone Bush, I’m not afraid of you anymore!”

    “Then you will die!” Bush screeched. “I can shmell the oil on you!”

    Actually, that was too scary for me. I ran up the stairs into the light and dialed 911.

    “BUSH IS TRYING TO KILL ME! PLEASE, HELP! IMPEACH HIM QUICK! HE’S GOT MY FRIEND!”

    All they did was laugh. I locked the basement door and ran to my house, curled up in a ball and cried for the whole weekend.

    On Monday I ran to the forest to call my friend. I began dialing his number when a man in a plaid shirt walked by and asked me,

    “Excuse me, why are you poking that pinecone?”

    “I’m not poking a pinecone, I’m calling my friend to impeach Bush.”

    “Ok….sure.” he replied as he continued to look on confused. Had he never seen a phone before?

    The phone rang forever. Eventually I gave up. I walked home and saw that my friend was waiting for me. He seemed different. He said he didn’t remember anything. I was trying to help him remember when suddenly my mom interrupted,

    “Honey, who are you talking to?”

    “Mom, I’m talking to my friend. He’s right here duh.”

    My mom looked at me like I was from mars. Then she went and speed dialed some number and said to the person on the other line, “He’s doing it again.”

    Doing what again? Trying to protect the world from Bush?

    The next day, my friend was gone, completely. Its like he never existed. Come to think of it, I can’t remember his name or anything about him. Weird. My mom took me to this man in a nice building and made me lie down on this bed thing with a white sheet on it then tell him what happened for like two hours. I told him everying. While he scribbled away on a clipboard, I told him how Bush stole my homework and listened in on my conversations and would make me whistle beach boys tunes on thursdays for three hours and twelve minutes. I told him how bush hunted me for my oil and how his tax cuts for the rich caused global warming. It was exciting to share this with another. I thought he might help me, but he didn’t. He was working for Bush.

    Before I knew it, I couldn’t move my arms. They put this sort of leather sweater thing on me when I was asleep that was sewn together so I couldn’t move my arms. The walls all around me were soft. I would bounce off them. I knew that if I bounced enough, Bush couldn’t get my oil.

    These men in white suits would come in sometimes. Sometimes ladies in white suits too. They told me I made it up. I knew they were sent by Bush to brainwash me the way he did everyone else. At first I resisted. Then I realized I could pretend to believe them and they would eventually let me go. They did.

    And here I am, ready to serve to impeach Bush for ruining my life.

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